you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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