sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
