I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
