What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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