I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
