Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize