Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
