hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
