PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
