I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
