I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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