Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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