So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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