Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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