i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Please don't give away my fajitas
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
