Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
