I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
