do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
