My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
