She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
