Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
someone owes me an orgasm
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
