You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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