hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
