One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
