is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
