areolas are like halos for boobs.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize