Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
