i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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