i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
