Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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