Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
