I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
