ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
