covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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