Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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