At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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