I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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