In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
