she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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