Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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