hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
