He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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