Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
