if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
