Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
