from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
