The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
