video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
