Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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