This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize