And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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