Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
