The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
