first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
