ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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