in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
