'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
