Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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