On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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