Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Still dying that you shit outside
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
