Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
