Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
