Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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