hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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