I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
